Single parenthood, young moms, stereotypes

Am I the only one sick of ALWAYS hearing some stereotype about single parents or, and especially, teen/young moms? Cause let me tell you, the majority of young parents are NOT crappy, welfare-abusing people who don't take care of their kids. Yes, sad, that there are those people out there, teen mom & not teen mom, but not everyone is like that. There are many examples of single mothers who started as teen mothers that I've seen. Sure, not perfect, but doing their best! Many of these women I have seen grown in front of my own eyes, their kids are now years old, no longer newborns. They have gotten through some type of schooling, working job upon job, just trying to make sure their children come first. Some of these women may or may not be getting state assistance, but if they are, I ask you NOT to judge. I ask you to quit acting like they are less of a human being for needing assistance, for acting like I am less of a human being for doing anything and everything I can to make sure my son and I live comfortably. Many of these young women, including myself, fall with the burden of full responsibility of their child. That means taking on the cost of diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, toys, clothes, food. Then as they grow older you start paying for daycare, extracurricular activities, and preschool. It's a lot of money. Even in a two parent household, kids are expensive, but just think about being the only one paying for everything. Not to mention expenses that come with being a young person.
Luckily, there is public assistance that many young, single mothers can apply for to help with their usually smaller budget. Many women can get this assistance, not because they are lazy, but usually because they don't have the education to get a good paying job with benefits. For the first year of Cole's life, I worked my ass off at Red Lobster making minimal money and barely covering just the rent. I would, every once in a while, pick up a second job, usually something that was only $7.25 an hour, but flexible enough for my student/mommy life. I know many women in my position. Women who work full-time jobs and then work something part time in the evenings, to make ends meet. Women who work factory or labor-heavy jobs, 10 hour inconvenient shifts, just to make sure their kid(s) have everything they need. Before you speak ill on single mothers, just remember that they are still human beings who may have made a poor decision, a decision that landed them in their situation, but that gives you no right to judge.
Trust me, I have done my fair share of judging, especially before I had a child of my own, but my eyes opened to the struggle. I can see how some young mothers can't step out of their "teen" stage. The truth is, I am only 22. I see other 22 year olds being crazy, going out non-stop, being financially irresponsible. People say, "Oh, they're young, they'll learn." How is that not the same with other 22 year olds? Yes, they have a kid or kids, but that doesn't mean they don't make mistakes, or have poor judgement sometimes. I know I have made my fair share of mistakes, sometimes going out way too often, spending too much money on things I don't need. I know. But I am 22 years old. I'm not the smartest or the wisest I'll be in life, I'm going to make more mistakes, people will judge me for making those mistakes, but why? Why, when we all do it?
I just ask that you think before posting something stupid on facebook about how all teen mothers live off of the system. Or about how all teen moms are sluts, or alcoholics, or how teen moms need to stay at home with their kids all of the time, because their moms. Not even adult mothers stay at home with their kids 24/7. And those young, single mothers that tear down other young moms for "living off of the state"? Make sure you have your facts straight and PLEASE don't lump them all in to one category. Just because you don't receive state assistance does NOT make you better than me, or than others. It just means you're struggling, but so am I.

This was just a huge rant, and I'm sure someone will tell me how "dumb" I am for defending such a "hot topic", but if you don't know me, now you have a glimpse. My boyfriend will be the first person to tell you that I like to argue hot topic issues, and this is just purely opinion.

I also do want to say, before someone else does, that I know that NO ONE told me to get pregnant, forced me to get pregnant, or otherwise. I made a mistake as an 18 year old, rebellious, girl. I am now "paying" for it for the rest of my life, but in the best way possible. The past 4+ years of my life have been incredibly heartbreaking and hard, but also the best. I never knew what it was to love until I met Cole. But I should not be looked down upon because I had a child so young. I should not be judged because I do what I have to do to raise my child. & neither should anybody else. We unfortunately cannot walk a mile in everyone's shoes, but we should still be compassionate to their lives. We do not know what every single person goes through in every day life.

Just something to think about on this Saturday night.

XO
C

Results!

OMG. I never thought I'd feel like I was getting anywhere, but hard work does pay off. Over the last 3ish weeks, I've been trying to really go hard in the gym and the kitchen. There were many days I didn't make it to the gym and many days I didn't eat how I should've, but I started new the next day. I never gave up, and now I have some arm results to share. I have no "measurements", per se, I don't remember the last time I took measurements, but my body is responding really well to lifting.
So, here it is!:

I feel good. I wish the rest of my body looked so good, but it is getting there! My calves are getting stronger as are my tris! This journey has been amazing so far, I know I can get far, I will do it.

I'm so lucky I have a great support system in this journey, as well as all of my other journeys.
I'm getting nervous just cause school is starting in a couple of weeks, I don't want to feel too overwhelmed with everything, so I'm hoping that even with school coming back, I will keep at it in the gym!

Follow me, comment, message, let me hear your thoughts, your stories, I truly want to!

xo
C

It's been forever...

It really has. I've been really busy just living life. I've had so much fun this summer with my son, my boyfriend, my family, and my friends. It has just really been amazing and eye-opening.
I've gotten to do fun things like watch toddler soccer games, go to the children's museum, celebrate my child's birthday, go swimming, travel, etc.
Now, I'm getting ready for myself and Cole to go to school. He starts pre-k NEXT week, you guys. I just don't know how I feel about that. As for me? Well, this semester is (hopefully!) the last of my undergrad. Um, yes. Crazy and unbelievable! I'm almost there, I've almost done it! Through tough times, rough relationships, single parenting, I'm ALMOST done. I never thought I could've gotten this far, honestly. But, here I am :)

Now on to why I started this blog. I really have wanted to get in to shape for a long time. I've always had a love hate relationship with working out, going to the gym, eating right, drinking water, etc. In high school, I was a big fan of running. About twice a week or so, my mom and I would go run a mile or two around a local high school track. It was fun, exhilarating, and enough exercise for me. After high school, I dabbled in "at-home" workouts, but I've realized that it doesn't really work for me. I like going to the gym now and I've recently started an affair with lifting. Now, I don't do as much cardio, but I am trying to incorporate it back in to my workout. I'm on week 3 of a bodybuilding.com program by fitness model Jamie Eason. It's super easy to follow and there are pictures and videos if you don't know how to do a workout. It's also really helped that my wonderful, awesome boyfriend comes to the gym with me every once in awhile. He really pushes me while lifting, even if I get annoyed cause I think I can't do it.
If you are wanting to start a fitness/weight loss journey, I recommend to research! Google, ask a personal trainer at your gym, ask a friend who frequents the gym, just ask, don't be afraid! It was hard for me to ask, but I'm finally getting more comfortable with it. I also really try to motivate myself any way I can. I follow instagram accounts like Flex It Pink, which is a female empowerment account that also makes fitness apparel. It's nice to see other people going through the same things as me, trying to be their best, their healthiest, it really motivates me. But ultimately, I have to seek within myself for the motivation and trust me, that's the most difficult. You can want something so bad, but never even do anything about it. That's where I've been stuck for too long. Now, I'm here. Making a weight loss calendar, sticking to a schedule, trying really hard to eat decently, etc. It's hard, but I'm done wishing, I want to be THERE. I'm super impatient, so it's been a rough 3 weeks not really feeling like I'm getting anywhere, but I know I just need to keep plugging along and I'll see results.
Follow me in my journey and share yours! Let's motivate each other! Follow me on insta and twitter and let's talk :)

Xo*
C

My Life Described in ONE Sentence..

I love this more and more every time I see this.
I had a child at 18. Not my plan, but I'm happier than ever.
I started college a semester late and I'm not majoring in any type of fashion education. Also not the plan, but I fell in love with social services/criminal justice/family studies and I'm graduating from college in December.
My first, "serious" relationship failed, even when I wanted a family so bad. Again...not the plan. But, let me be the first to tell you how amazing it is that that plan did not go through!
There are many things that didn't go as planned..and I'm a planner..so, sometimes it gives me anxiety attacks that everything isn't a dream right now, but I am happy. I'm alive. I'm grateful. I'm loved & I love.
What else could I really ask for?

XXOO
C

Being a mother...

Is probably my favorite thing to do, but it is also one of the roughest experiences I've had in my life. I was only 18 when I became a mother and although I've had my fair share of experiences by now, motherhood does NOT get any easier. The tantrums get louder, the talk back happens more frequently, and the whining becomes an every day thing. Sometimes I wonder, "what am I doing?"
Then Cole happens all over again and I remember why I do everything I do. Seriously, that kid is amazing birth control, but he also reminds me of why my life is so meaningful. I do everything for this kid because I want him to live as good of a life as I did growing up.

I have two great parents who have been pretty constant in my life. They taught me how to be the strong person I am today, but they also knew how to spoil the hell out of me every once in a while ;)
Cole does not have two parents in his life, unfortunately, which puts a lot of stress on me. School full-time is enough to send anyone overboard alone, but I also work, now more than ever. I recently got a new job where I don't get the flexibility of working just a couple days a week as a server and making decent money, but I do get the stability of guaranteed hours and pay. The reason I picked up this new job is that with a growing child comes growing expenses. I've been lucky to have help from my parents, or have leftover money from scholarships, to help me fuel my expenses, but it's starting to not be enough. I have rent, utilities, "fancy" expenses (as I call them, including my dvr ;), clothes, food, etc. Now, with Cole becoming older, I have things like Pre-k and sports to add to the list. I also want to be putting money away for him and I and start saving up to buy a house. I need a stable job for this!
Now that hours are becoming a little more intense, I'm starting to realize that I'm not doing as well as I thought I would. Exhaustion is becoming my daily life, I look like a zombie! I also feel guilty for not being with Cole all.of.the.time. And I'm feeling a lot of resentment building up: resentment as his father, mostly, for not being a stable, good person that could help me out and be there for his son.
But then I see the most precious, innocent little being: when he's sleeping, when he's playing a game, when he's laughing, or crying, I realize that I'm creating such a fascinating, funny, dramatic, little man, and that ONE day he will realize all that I did and will continue to do for him. For he is my everything.

Xo,
C*

Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day!

Breakfast has ALWAYS been my hardest meal of the day. In fact, for the longest time, I just skipped it. Everyone tells you, "Breakfast is the most important of the day!" or, "Skipping breakfast will lead you to overeat all day!" and those are both true. Eating breakfast gives you energy for the rest of the day and can lead to a better control over maintaining your weight (or losing or gaining!). You also get better concentration and focus during the day and more strength and endurance for your workout! Those are some amazing benefits that a healthy breakfast can give you! The biggest reason I try to eat breakfast every day now, is that it helps me be less hungry throughout the day. If I get my good breakfast in, I'm full for longer, instead of wanting to graze all day before my next meal.

Read more about benefits of breakfast here!

So, I decided to start trying smoothies. They are quick and easy and a great breakfast for on the go. I'll admit, they are not my fav. Not because of the taste, both of the smoothies I've made so far are super good. Like very yum. But I'm a huge texture gal, and there's definitely some texture in there, especially if you have a shitty blender like I do.

The smoothie I made this morning had: 1 cup of kale, 1 cup of spinach, 1/2 of a banana, 1/2 cup of strawberries, 1/2 cup of mangoes, 3 oz. of vanilla greek yogurt, 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk, and 1/2 scoop of protein powder. It comes out to about 400 calories in this smoothie packed with veggies, fruits, and protein!

I find all of the smoothie recipes on pinterest! Check it out and tell me how you like to smoothie! :)

XO,
C*

Victories- on and off the scale

So, this week, I decided I really needed to get back on track. Since I joined the gym and did boot camp, I haven't stayed working out or eating well for more than 2 weeks. I'd start and then something would happen: I went to Colorado for a weekend, ate like shit, and then came back and ate the same way! I keep falling off the bandwagon!

Then I keep seeing people who have lost massive amounts of weight, in the 100s you know, and I'm like, if they can do it so can I!

But it is hard. So anyway, I premade my dinners for this week (skinny taco chicken chili) and ate light at work (since I've been at work everyday during lunch, I ate grilled shrimp skewers or a cup of lobster bisque) and my snacks have mostly been light as well. But if you know me, you know snacking is my downfall, so it wasn't the best of the best (check out my diary on myfitnesspal, you'll see!) and although I could've done better overall, I lost 3 lbs this week. Not bad right? Although that's not much from what I have weighed, I haven't actually been 143 since early 2013. So here I am..a year later.. 

Besides my better eating habits, I went to the gym 2x. I need to make it more often! And if anyone that reads this goes to good life fitness and wants to be my gym/boot camp buddy, let me know!!!!

So anyway, one more thing. I also had a non scale victory yesterday. My son decided he didn't want the same dinner we'd been having for the last 3 days and asked for Mac and cheese. Fine, but I didn't want to make a big pot for just him, cause it'd go to waste. So after boot camp yesterday, I stopped by KFC which has small sides of Mac and cheese, perfect for my little man. I was so tempted to get the mashed potato bowl or a Pepsi, but decided that I had food and water at home! Um, yay!! ;)

Xo,

C

#transformationtuesday

So, I never partake in the hashtag madness. Ok, not never, but mostly never. I never do #wcw #mcm and definitely not #transformationtuesday. But, I decided, I would today. I am not by any means where I want to be. But I am really proud of where I came from. Like I've said before, my heaviest was in 2012 when I weighed 162 lbs at my heaviest. I'm only 5' so that's a lot of weight to be carrying around. After a lot of stress, some better eating, and becoming a lot more active, I lost 16 lbs and I've kept it off. Sure, 16 lbs isn't that much and it isn't even where I want to be, but I'm proud that I accomplished something I never thought I could do. So here's my #transformationtuesday picture, and here's to the next 16 lbs ;)

Me in the yellow dress is my 21st birthday in 2012, the picture on the right is of me in November of 2013.

Today: food!!

I've found this whole weight-loss, healthier eating journey to be VERY hard. I looove me some hot cheetos and Wild Cherry Pepsi is my weakness. Actually, margaritas are my weakness. Whatever, I have a lot of weaknesses. None of these items are on my "to-eat" list lately, which is great. I don't remember the last time I had hot cheetos!

The biggest struggle I have is breakfast. As long as I can remember, breakfast has been more of a brunch on the weekends for me. I've always been "too busy" in the morning to make breakfast. Lately, I've decided that's one of my biggest goals, get something in the morning. And I've done pretty well, I haven't gotten breakfast in every day, but the majority, I do!

A lot of day it's eggs and toast or cereal or oatmeal or a breakfast bar, pretty bland and boring, but it's something right? Well today has been by far my fav! I had seen a picture on pinterest of toast with smashed avacado and a sunny side up egg on it. Looked yummy! I don't actually keep eggs on hand (I use Egg Beaters all natural egg whites for my scrambled eggs in the morning) so I couldn't do it exactly like the picture, but I did come up with something super tasty!

I scrambled my egg whites, put a small amount of Hormel Real Bacon Bits in the mix, and added a little bit of Kraft Mexican Four-Cheese to top it off. I toasted a piece of bread and spread on spicy guacamole mix by Wholly Guacamole (you could definitely just mash up a half or more of an avocado and add salt & pepper). Then, I added the scrambled eggs to the top and seriously, yum! Super filling, what a great way to start my morning!

This great breakfast was a solid 242 calories, awesome! :) I'm definitely fueled for the rest of the day!


What's your favorite breakfast? Share here!

XO,
C*

Asking for good vibes this way!

My stomach is in knots and my head hurts. I need some good vibes this way! I don't want to let the details out for the whole world to see, yet, in case it doesn't all go like I want it to. So please excuse my vagueness and just think a good quote at me, or say a small prayer of hope for me, I would really appreciate it!

Thanks so much to all of the people who support & uplift me, I truly appreciate it.

xo
C*

Goals, goals, goals.

I've been talking about my goals and what not, so I decided I'd let you all know exactly what I'm aiming for!
Long Term Goal:
1. First & foremost, I'm always striving to be a better mother. I definitely do my best every day, but my best isn't always what I'm looking for. I strive to be more hands on and give my son more 1 on 1 time every day!
2. Get a routine & stick to it! Eat better, sleep better, be better.
3. Be a better & more passionate daughter, sister, & partner.
Short term goals:
1. This has been a goal for awhile, but I need to get there. I want to be in the 120s again and love my body! (aiming for mid April)
2. I want to be better in school, be more involved in my classes. (every week until May!)
3. Eat breakfast every morning (get this down for 21 days. Then it becomes habit)
4. Be able to do a pullup in boot camp class! (Be strong enough and brave enough to!)(aim for beginning of April)
5. Make it to the gym at least 4x a week. (bonus: go on a Saturday or Sunday!) (every week starting this week!)

Someone once told me to make goals that have some sort of obtainable time limit. Then you push for it so it gets done by that time. I have these goals and I really want to stick to them!

Yay!

OMG. I just got back from boot camp and shit, I got my ass kicked!! The weather is beautifuuuul out so we ran outside.... A lot. Hello, shin splints! But it was great to get outside and sweat.

This week, I promised myself to get back on the grind. So, getting plenty of sleep, waking up early, eating breakfast, and making it to the gym at least 4x this week is my start. I've also started using myfitnesspal again. If I'm tracking my calories, that helps me keep my eating in check. 

How do you keep yourself accountable? Do you give yourself prizes if you meet your goals? Stickers, high fives? Let me know! 

Also, share your favorite workouts with me! I love new workouts! 

Xo

C

No excuses.

I kind of hate that. I have many reasons why I don't work out, make it to the gym, do a homework assignment, or drink pop instead of water. I just don't want to sometimes, or other times life just gets in the way. I have a three year old, so doing things I had planned on doing, don't always get done. And I don't want to look at that as an excuse. Using my child as a reason to NOT do something rubs me the wrong way. I hang out with him, play with him, read to him, or just cuddle with him instead of working out, doing homework, or even going to work sometimes (sorry!), and I'd definitely rather be spending time with him instead of doing other things when I can.
But at the same time, I want to show my child that I do like to do "mommy" things like being responsible, healthy, and happy. So yes, I do make time to work out, I do make time to do homework, and I do make time to hang out with other people. Is it always easy? No, I have a lot on my plate. But every one does, that's just life.

Now that I got that off my chest, here's the real reason for my post.
I needed something quick to do during my 1 hour break from research/paper writing for my crim class. A quick workout sounded great! Although I am a member of a great gym (good life fitness, check them out!) I didn't want to trek out in the cold, with my three year old. Too much work for this stressed out mama! So I explored pinterest instead and found this "No excuses workout". Perfect!

Although it wasn't a long workout, and it wasn't even THAT hard, I was sweating by the end of it and it was 20 minutes well spent! So if you have 20 minutes RIGHT NOW to put in to something you might later put off, DO IT! Got research to do for a class? Take 20 minutes to start. Need to get a workout in? You've got 20 minutes. Haven't talked to your parents in a week? YOU'VE GOT 20 MINUTES! I know you spend 20 minutes or more doing other things that help you procrastinate (Chicago PD, holla!) but just take a break and do something you know you should be doing. You'll feel better, trust me!

P.S. I just recently bought this heart rate monitor watch! It's amazing. Tracks your heart rate, calories burned, and duration of your workout! It's really nice when you're working out and want to how many calories your burning! Get it here!

Weight loss is a bitch.

I've told myself that I need to lose 20 lbs forever. In high school I was tiny, size 0-2. After having Cole, I gained about 45 lbs during my pregnancy and lost a lot of it while breast feeding him during the first year. But as soon as I stopped, the weight came flooding back. I got to my heaviest ever at 162 (ugh, I'm embarrassed about that) and felt like a huge slob! So, at that point, I told myself I needed to lose 40+ lbs and I got overwhelmed. That's a lot. And I didn't educate myself on great ways to lose weight (like portion control, healthier eating habits, and exercise) so I freaked out and became unhealthy. I got in to a habit of limiting my calories so much that I was hungry all of the time and then I'd give in to all of my craving at the same time. So, the weight never came off.

It wasn't until I got happier and healthier, I got results. 

But now I'm here. 22, 145 lbs, and stuck in a rut. I'm a mother and a student and I have a job, that a lot of times I make excuses of why it's ok that I ordered pizza twice this week, or why I didn't make it to the gym at all this week. Indulging in cravings or skipping the gym every once in awhile is not all bad. We all need a break! But if you have a goal, if you want to be healthier, lose weight, gain muscle, get an A+ on your paper, get that promotion, you can't quit when it gets too challenging, too tiresome, or it seems like you'll never reach your goal. Keep going! Cause the time is going to pass anyway, might as well spend it doing something that will benefit you! 

And that's where I'm stuck. Sometimes lounging on the couch watching One Tree Hill, eating ice cream sounds better than getting my butt kicked at boot camp (ok, it always sounds better!!) but I feel much better getting an hour work out in and then lounging with the tv. 

So, let's get together and empower each other, let's reach our goals together. It can be anything!: health/fitness, school, work, as a parent, anything!

Leave me a comment and let me know what you'll be working on for the month of March! 

Xo,

C

Oh, hello there..

Dear everyone,
If you haven't seen this yet, YOU NEED TO! This is one of the best videos out there, especially if you're a mother.
ENJOY!

xo
C