My Life Described in ONE Sentence..

I love this more and more every time I see this.
I had a child at 18. Not my plan, but I'm happier than ever.
I started college a semester late and I'm not majoring in any type of fashion education. Also not the plan, but I fell in love with social services/criminal justice/family studies and I'm graduating from college in December.
My first, "serious" relationship failed, even when I wanted a family so bad. Again...not the plan. But, let me be the first to tell you how amazing it is that that plan did not go through!
There are many things that didn't go as planned..and I'm a planner..so, sometimes it gives me anxiety attacks that everything isn't a dream right now, but I am happy. I'm alive. I'm grateful. I'm loved & I love.
What else could I really ask for?

XXOO
C

Being a mother...

Is probably my favorite thing to do, but it is also one of the roughest experiences I've had in my life. I was only 18 when I became a mother and although I've had my fair share of experiences by now, motherhood does NOT get any easier. The tantrums get louder, the talk back happens more frequently, and the whining becomes an every day thing. Sometimes I wonder, "what am I doing?"
Then Cole happens all over again and I remember why I do everything I do. Seriously, that kid is amazing birth control, but he also reminds me of why my life is so meaningful. I do everything for this kid because I want him to live as good of a life as I did growing up.

I have two great parents who have been pretty constant in my life. They taught me how to be the strong person I am today, but they also knew how to spoil the hell out of me every once in a while ;)
Cole does not have two parents in his life, unfortunately, which puts a lot of stress on me. School full-time is enough to send anyone overboard alone, but I also work, now more than ever. I recently got a new job where I don't get the flexibility of working just a couple days a week as a server and making decent money, but I do get the stability of guaranteed hours and pay. The reason I picked up this new job is that with a growing child comes growing expenses. I've been lucky to have help from my parents, or have leftover money from scholarships, to help me fuel my expenses, but it's starting to not be enough. I have rent, utilities, "fancy" expenses (as I call them, including my dvr ;), clothes, food, etc. Now, with Cole becoming older, I have things like Pre-k and sports to add to the list. I also want to be putting money away for him and I and start saving up to buy a house. I need a stable job for this!
Now that hours are becoming a little more intense, I'm starting to realize that I'm not doing as well as I thought I would. Exhaustion is becoming my daily life, I look like a zombie! I also feel guilty for not being with Cole all.of.the.time. And I'm feeling a lot of resentment building up: resentment as his father, mostly, for not being a stable, good person that could help me out and be there for his son.
But then I see the most precious, innocent little being: when he's sleeping, when he's playing a game, when he's laughing, or crying, I realize that I'm creating such a fascinating, funny, dramatic, little man, and that ONE day he will realize all that I did and will continue to do for him. For he is my everything.

Xo,
C*

Today: food!!

I've found this whole weight-loss, healthier eating journey to be VERY hard. I looove me some hot cheetos and Wild Cherry Pepsi is my weakness. Actually, margaritas are my weakness. Whatever, I have a lot of weaknesses. None of these items are on my "to-eat" list lately, which is great. I don't remember the last time I had hot cheetos!

The biggest struggle I have is breakfast. As long as I can remember, breakfast has been more of a brunch on the weekends for me. I've always been "too busy" in the morning to make breakfast. Lately, I've decided that's one of my biggest goals, get something in the morning. And I've done pretty well, I haven't gotten breakfast in every day, but the majority, I do!

A lot of day it's eggs and toast or cereal or oatmeal or a breakfast bar, pretty bland and boring, but it's something right? Well today has been by far my fav! I had seen a picture on pinterest of toast with smashed avacado and a sunny side up egg on it. Looked yummy! I don't actually keep eggs on hand (I use Egg Beaters all natural egg whites for my scrambled eggs in the morning) so I couldn't do it exactly like the picture, but I did come up with something super tasty!

I scrambled my egg whites, put a small amount of Hormel Real Bacon Bits in the mix, and added a little bit of Kraft Mexican Four-Cheese to top it off. I toasted a piece of bread and spread on spicy guacamole mix by Wholly Guacamole (you could definitely just mash up a half or more of an avocado and add salt & pepper). Then, I added the scrambled eggs to the top and seriously, yum! Super filling, what a great way to start my morning!

This great breakfast was a solid 242 calories, awesome! :) I'm definitely fueled for the rest of the day!


What's your favorite breakfast? Share here!

XO,
C*

Weight loss is a bitch.

I've told myself that I need to lose 20 lbs forever. In high school I was tiny, size 0-2. After having Cole, I gained about 45 lbs during my pregnancy and lost a lot of it while breast feeding him during the first year. But as soon as I stopped, the weight came flooding back. I got to my heaviest ever at 162 (ugh, I'm embarrassed about that) and felt like a huge slob! So, at that point, I told myself I needed to lose 40+ lbs and I got overwhelmed. That's a lot. And I didn't educate myself on great ways to lose weight (like portion control, healthier eating habits, and exercise) so I freaked out and became unhealthy. I got in to a habit of limiting my calories so much that I was hungry all of the time and then I'd give in to all of my craving at the same time. So, the weight never came off.

It wasn't until I got happier and healthier, I got results. 

But now I'm here. 22, 145 lbs, and stuck in a rut. I'm a mother and a student and I have a job, that a lot of times I make excuses of why it's ok that I ordered pizza twice this week, or why I didn't make it to the gym at all this week. Indulging in cravings or skipping the gym every once in awhile is not all bad. We all need a break! But if you have a goal, if you want to be healthier, lose weight, gain muscle, get an A+ on your paper, get that promotion, you can't quit when it gets too challenging, too tiresome, or it seems like you'll never reach your goal. Keep going! Cause the time is going to pass anyway, might as well spend it doing something that will benefit you! 

And that's where I'm stuck. Sometimes lounging on the couch watching One Tree Hill, eating ice cream sounds better than getting my butt kicked at boot camp (ok, it always sounds better!!) but I feel much better getting an hour work out in and then lounging with the tv. 

So, let's get together and empower each other, let's reach our goals together. It can be anything!: health/fitness, school, work, as a parent, anything!

Leave me a comment and let me know what you'll be working on for the month of March! 

Xo,

C